Already the sixth! How did that happen? I haven’t taken pictures yet either. Tomorrow?
Alright, first a look back a May:
Goals for May 2012
Wow. I have some difficult stuff ahead of me, and it’s making me not really motivated to set any goals. I feel like I did pretty well last month sticking to my goals, but I don’t feel particularly proud or excited about anything I accomplished. I think I need to make the stakes higher. I also need to find balance with overextending myself. OK, so here goes.
– Only post alcohol and sugar cheats on calendar. Sugary alcohol drink does not count as both. YES
– Track rice servings and coffee servings in food diary YES
– No Drinking or Sugar alone, post cheats YES — much better on this
– Only eat when hungry — Pretty much; only started when hungry, but ate passed fullness a couple of times
– Exercise five times per week — Yes. Without counting, I think I rocked it.
– 3 tony sessions — YES!
– 3 longer workouts — YES! At least.
– Talk to C about Divorce (whew! throat tight just writing that) YES! — Well, I set a date to do it — he wasn’t available until June
– Talk to two mediators YES! Ten points for this one!!
– Go to one coda meeting
– Write everyday (not necessarily publicly) reward: Firm DVDS!
– Improv show! — YES! Didn’t feel as good as I wanted it to, but I did it!
– Sell two tickets to improv show — NO
– Submit a piece of writing somewhere — Yes! Submitted “new clothes” to Brain child!
– Look up class that culminates in one woman show — No, but did hear about the Marsh.
– Play date with Emily Q — Tried. Will try again this month
– Find a new baby/house sitter — scheduled to talk to Shayna in July
– Set date for Carter to visit D’s school — D is enrolled int school!
– Plan D’s birthday party (party favors, cake, activities) — Huge success!
– Clean out desk — NO
– Finish cleaning out closet — Not really
OK. That’s a lot. I’ve put the big, scary ones at the top. Just now I looked up mediators. Easier than I thought. ;
I feel really good about what I got done in May. Clearly I have blocks about cleaning out my desk and closet. I have already had some cheats at the start of June largely because of the child’s bday. PIZZA! I feel good about my ability to get back on track, but I don’t want those good feelings to lure me into debauchery. I feel pretty good about the rice, and I’d like to continue to limit it to one serving a day with flexibility. The coffee is the issue. Once I make a pot, I drink the whole damn thing. Maybe I should make a goal of no more than two cups a day and put the freaking coffee maker a way. That’s the problem, not the occasional second cup that I might make with the French press or acquire at Starbucks. Other than that, I think food goals are pretty much the same.
– Track rice servings and coffee servings in food diary
– Max 2 cups coffee per day above that on calendar
– No Drinking or Sugar alone, post cheats
– Only eat when hungry
– Exercise five times per week
– 3 tony sessions
– 3 longer workouts
– 3 longer posts
– decide on new computer to replace dead laptop
– submit one article
– look up Marsh classes re: one woman show
– Make myself a skirt
– Finish 2 books: Gray & Acceptance book
– rid of old clothes
– rid of carseat and bases
– organize D’s closet (including sorting “must keeps”)
– Chose mediator with C
– Schedule one mediator meeting
– Ask Karen (lawyer) for refund
– Go dancing twice
– Hang with Andi sans kids
– Sign up for summer camp
– go to Golden Gate Bridge
– Plan with the Hamiltons
– Plan with the Larsens
– Make night gown
Taking a moment to admit fully that I am off my wagon. Yesterday was a planned cheat, and today I made it through most of the day (though I did go back on my goal of cutting out rice for the week), until I had a drink (read: three) with dinner and a brownie after dinner. Ugh. Totally self-medicating. Saying it out loud so that I can avoid slipping further. Exercise should help, and will feel good tomorrow. Eating crap makes my body hurt, and being more lax over the last month has caused the scale to creep up nearly five pounds. Blah.
I am feeling really frustrated by how restrictive my diet needs to be in order for me to maintain weight-loss, let alone lose weight. Remembering back to a time when eating nourishing food was its own reward. Here’s to bringing healthy back.
Last night I got to go out to dinner and eat Mediterranean food — exactly what I wanted and so yummy! My stomach was already grumbling as we walked to the restaurant, and by the time I looked at the menu, I was wiping drool from the corners of my tabouleh-lusting mouth.
I ordered a salad of some sort, and told myself I would just eat the baba ghanoush (eggplant) and avoid the tabouleh (grains), the humus (beans) and the lentils (beans again). Well, the food arrived, and I was so flippin’ hungry after subsisting primarily on coffee for most of the day, that I didn’t exactly listen to what I had told myself. I mean, I started picking around the tabouleh to eat the baba ghanoush, but then a couple of delicious morsels hichhiked their way into my mouth via the sticky eggplant goodness. And then the baba ghanoush was gone, and I was still hungry, and there was food in front of me, perfectly good food for someone who is not a paleolithic, whack-job, or as my friend called it the other day, “Paleo-rexic.”
I ate it. I ate the food that most sane people would consider to be perfectly healthy, even nourishing. And do you know what? I enjoyed it! And better still, I didn’t have a food hangover when I woke up this morning. I am feeling inspired to do a better job ferreting-out what actually gives me crusty AM eyes and creaky old-lady knees.
Last night was delicious, and I didn’t eat any pita bread or rice or, heaven forbid, dessert. I didn’t even have a ridiculously sweet cocktail to get my sugar fix via alcohol. I didn’t have any alcohol. So yay for that.
I know for me, there is a fine line between eating a consistently healthy diet and turning into a self-sacrificing, miserable Paleo-rexic. Last night, I feel like I hit my stride. (Not to mention that I got to eat dinner at a real restaurant with delightful company and delicious conversation. Maybe I am evolving past paleo.