Tag Archives: alcohol

Hello, Old Friend

Wow.  It’s been almost a year since I’ve been here.  A year and a half since I’ve posted goals.  I’m baaaaaack! As far as the food posting, I’ve been pretty consistent, just in a different spot:


That’s right, I am a meallogger hero!  And my junior high school geography teacher told me I’d never get anywhere. Ha!

The only problem is I have been posting crap: cookies, wine, cocktails made from Trader Joe’s swill.  And lately it has gotten so bad [scrapes cookie crumbs from molars] I haven’t even posted.  [le sigh]

Before I outgrow all my clothes and find I made it all the way to my daughter’s wedding slightly buzzed (she’s five now), I want to recommit myself to healthy me.

I know December is a hella stupid time to set weight-loss goals.  Instead, I want to recommit myself to being committed.  Here are my goals for December:

– Some sort of exercise every single flippin’ day.  50 squats and/or 20 pushups counts.  I.  Must.  Move.  my fitbit got run over,  and I need to get myself moving without daily calibration.  I need to, or I will not have any pants left.

– Alcohol only two days a week.  It’s so yummy!  And it makes me forget my woes so quickly.  I need to keep my woes in mind so I can annihilate them rather than inebriate them. Divorce hurts.  Poverty hurts.  Alcohol is more painful and expensive than I can afford.  ‘Mmmmm ‘K?

– Healthy eating (no grains, dairy, sugar) five nights per week.  For serious.

Yo!  I am writing it here to keep myself honest.

Hi Self.  I love you.  I want you to be healthy and fit.  I want you to check out your own biceps and say, “damn!” silently to said biceps.  I am an atheist.  I get one life. Why the heck am I wasting it with crap?  Now I go to bed with a book and wake up to workout.  ‘Cause I like wearing clothes in small sizes and feeling fit and seeing life and loving it.  Life.  Is.  Good.


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Paleo Party

It’s a party up in here!  I have always enjoyed entertaining.  And over the years I have built up a decent sized collection of recipes that are sure fire hits at parties large and small — my go-to recipes.  For quite a while after I started eating more healthfully (and in the past when I would be on a fairly healthy stint) I would still serve these carb, sugar, and dairy-laden delectables when I would invite friends over.  I would either allow myself to cheat, “In the name of the party,” or I would drool hungrily in my own special kind of deprivation torture.

Almost two years into relatively consistent clean eating,  I have finally discovered that I can, low and behold, make delicious, healthy food for parties — food that my guests and I actually enjoy and that doesn’t make us all (ok, just me) sick for days afterwards.  Gone are the times of artichoke spinach dip with wholegrain crackers and brie en croute.  (Wow, that does sound a little bit good….)

Since I am hosting a party this coming weekend, and my diet is particularly strict this month due to August being a  Whole 30 month for me, I decided now would be a good time to consolidate some of my favorite paleo and party friendly recipes.  Let’s get this party started — caveman style!

First, here are some resource I was glad to find.  The links below have some delicious and relatively healthy party snacks:




I even found some recipes for paleo-friendly adult beverages.  Yum!


Here’s a list of some of the things I have made for recent parties.  Hopefully I will find some inspiration for my upcoming party here:

  • Artichoke  and Mama’s Magical Dipping Sauce
  • Guacamole and fresh veggies (I will probably serve some organic corn chips, too, and try desperately not to eat them!)
  • Prosciutto-wrapped asparagus (I just steam asparagus and wrap one or two spears in  a slice of prosciutto.  Certainly, more complex recipes are available.)
  • Deviled eggs (Lots of yummy recipes online.  Again, you may wanna make your own mayo here.)
  • Chicken Satay (I usually cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces and serve them on long sticks in jar like a chicken bouquet.)
  • Israeli salad (I prefer it with red onions instead of green, and I usually do it without bell peppers, too.  I may even add some olives)
  •  Figs in Pigs (Bacon-wrapped figs)
  • Fresh fruit
  • Gluten-free brownies (I usually add some dairy-free [also from Trader Joe’s] chocolate chips) — still a cheat, but better than full-blown brownies
  • Flourless chocolate cake (I am wondering if I could sub out coconut oil for the butter.  May try that next time.)
  • Dried fruit and nuts

Keep in mind, this is not all totally paleo — one could probably not eat this sorta stuff everyday and achieve fitness/health goals, but I feel so much better spending my extra calories on food that actually feels good in my body (if I don’t eat too much of it — Ugh!  I won’t even begin to post about that right now).

Here’s to a happy and healthy party!  Cheers (and grunts)!



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Week One Under My Belt

Well shucks!  Yesterday officially marked one week of no:





tea (even herbal)


legumes (not that I was really eating those before)



I am forgetting things, I am sure.  Oh!  Only two servings of fruit a day (mostly) and super limited fat intake (I know, I know this is *so* not Whole 30).

I am feeling far better than I was the first few days.  In fact, at this point, this almost seems sustainable.  The major shift is that I am eating to live rather than living to eat.  Well, I guess that’s not entirely true — I certainly covet those two servings of fruit, and I try to save them as a treat for later in the day whenever possible.

Despite my desire for  a third peach or a nice slice of bacon, or even just a small cup of decaffeinated coffee with coconut milk (oh, god! Why don’t I shut up already?!), I am motivated by results to press on.  After this first week, my jeans are looser, and I can see more definition in my abs.  Further (yes, yes, I know it’s not reliable and it’s probably largely water but) I have lost about three pounds.  I had been holding steady (with some slight fluctuation) at about 137 or so for about a year.  This morning the scale dipped below 135.  Yes, I know it’s just a number, blah, blah, blah.  It happens to be a number that is very satisfying to me.  So yay for that.

The Fat Flush may be an overly marketed piece of shit that tastes worse than shit, but I do see results.  C’mon, Week Two!  Let’s rock this thing!  And then there will be coffee.  Mmmmm…. coffee!


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Welcome August!

Tomorrow is August!  I am so far off the cliff of July, that I am relieved to see that the eighth month will be waiting patiently for me when I wake up tomorrow.  I decided mid-July that I would do the Whole 30 for the month of August.  It seemed like an unreasonable challenge at first: why take away some of my favorite things:  rice toast, alcohol, a bit of sugar here and there?  Now that my start date is nearly here, I am awaiting it eagerly like I have sometimes awaited the first day of school.  Not the first day of school when you had a crappy summer and just sat on the couch everyday reading the backs of cereal boxes and watching TV, the kind of summer that was fulfilling, the kind where you did the stuff you promised yourself you would do — everything from cleaning out your closet to lazing on the beach for hours at a time.   And you also know you have a great outfit.  Yeah, that kind of first day of school.

I have spent the last few weeks getting in all my summer activities.  I drank sangria with multiple groups of delightful friends.  I ate delicious pizza and dipped the crusts in italian dressing just like I like.  I even treated myself to sushi from the deli case at Whole Foods complete with the dreaded and illegal soy sauce.  It was all scrumptious, and I managed to consume most of it with limited guilt.  I do feel like I am mostly on the right track, and it does feel good, and important, to have food holidays every now and again.

I am taking my eagerness to start up my strict regiment tomorrow as a sign that “good” eating habits have become my “normal.”  I am so excited about eating well and cleansing my system of the melted chocolate chips and those damn gluten-free brownies (not to mention the sangria and amazing cucumber drinks), that I have upped the ante.  For the first two weeks of August, I am going to do Anne Louise Gittleman’s Fat Flush in addition to the Whole 30.

The last time I attempted this was just about eleven years ago when I first moved to San Francisco.  I was going to school full-time, and working thirty hours a week at a pre-school.  I remember being exhausted and starving the whole time, and subsisting on the taste of my own digested muscle.  I was so weak and grumpy that I burst into tears upon discovering that the salsa I so badly wanted to consume contained vinegar — a no-no on the list.  I didn’t survive the two weeks.  The beginning of the end came when I attended a work dinner at a delicious Chinese restaurant.  Sure, I tried to be good, but even the plain chicken and string beans I gorged on contained sugar and soy I am sure.

I feel much better going into it this time if only because I have a better understanding of what I need to eat to feel satisfied.  The Whole 30, which I have done successfully two or three times now, gets me basically there.  I just need to eliminate vinegar, caffeine, and salt as well.  I confess now that salt may sneak in here and there, but I am going to give no caffeine a go for two weeks.  I have certainly been on the upswing of caffeine dependency for quite a while now.  It’s time to see if I can kick it for a spell.  Yay for self-control.  Yay for a healthier, happier me.  (And yay for September when I can eat rice again!!!!)

Here’s to to getting reacquainted with structure, and here’s to (hopefully) smaller jeans!  Anyone wanna join me?

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June 2012 Goals

Already the sixth! How did that happen? I haven’t taken pictures yet either. Tomorrow?

Alright, first a look back a May:

Goals for May 2012

Wow. I have some difficult stuff ahead of me, and it’s making me not really motivated to set any goals. I feel like I did pretty well last month sticking to my goals, but I don’t feel particularly proud or excited about anything I accomplished. I think I need to make the stakes higher. I also need to find balance with overextending myself. OK, so here goes.
– Only post alcohol and sugar cheats on calendar. Sugary alcohol drink does not count as both. YES
– Track rice servings and coffee servings in food diary YES
– No Drinking or Sugar alone, post cheats YES — much better on this
– Only eat when hungry — Pretty much; only started when hungry, but ate passed fullness a couple of times
– Exercise five times per week — Yes. Without counting, I think I rocked it.
– 3 tony sessions — YES!
– 3 longer workouts — YES! At least.
– Talk to C about Divorce (whew! throat tight just writing that) YES! — Well, I set a date to do it — he wasn’t available until June
– Talk to two mediators YES! Ten points for this one!!
– Go to one coda meeting
– Write everyday (not necessarily publicly) reward: Firm DVDS!
– Improv show! — YES! Didn’t feel as good as I wanted it to, but I did it!
– Sell two tickets to improv show — NO
– Submit a piece of writing somewhere — Yes! Submitted “new clothes” to Brain child!
– Look up class that culminates in one woman show — No, but did hear about the Marsh.
– Play date with Emily Q — Tried. Will try again this month
– Find a new baby/house sitter — scheduled to talk to Shayna in July
– Set date for Carter to visit D’s school — D is enrolled int school!
– Plan D’s birthday party (party favors, cake, activities) — Huge success!
– Clean out desk — NO
– Finish cleaning out closet — Not really
OK. That’s a lot. I’ve put the big, scary ones at the top. Just now I looked up mediators. Easier than I thought. ;
I feel really good about what I got done in May. Clearly I have blocks about cleaning out my desk and closet. I have already had some cheats at the start of June largely because of the child’s bday. PIZZA! I feel good about my ability to get back on track, but I don’t want those good feelings to lure me into debauchery. I feel pretty good about the rice, and I’d like to continue to limit it to one serving a day with flexibility. The coffee is the issue. Once I make a pot, I drink the whole damn thing. Maybe I should make a goal of no more than two cups a day and put the freaking coffee maker a way. That’s the problem, not the occasional second cup that I might make with the French press or acquire at Starbucks. Other than that, I think food goals are pretty much the same.
June 2012
– Track rice servings and coffee servings in food diary
– Max 2 cups coffee per day above that on calendar
– No Drinking or Sugar alone, post cheats
– Only eat when hungry
– Exercise five times per week
– 3 tony sessions
– 3 longer workouts
– 3 longer posts
– decide on new computer to replace dead laptop
– submit one article
– look up Marsh classes re: one woman show
– Make myself a skirt
– Finish 2 books: Gray & Acceptance book
– rid of old clothes
– rid of carseat and bases
– organize D’s closet (including sorting “must keeps”)
– Chose mediator with C
– Schedule one mediator meeting
– Ask Karen (lawyer) for refund
– Go dancing twice
– Hang with Andi sans kids

– Sign up for summer camp
– go to Golden Gate Bridge
– Plan with the Hamiltons
– Plan with the Larsens
– Make night gown


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Taking a moment to admit fully that I am off my wagon.  Yesterday was a planned cheat, and today I made it through most of the day (though I did go back on my goal of cutting out rice for the week), until I had a drink (read: three) with dinner and a brownie after dinner.  Ugh.  Totally self-medicating.  Saying it out loud so that I can avoid slipping further.  Exercise should help, and will feel good tomorrow.  Eating crap makes my body hurt, and being more lax over the last month has caused the scale to creep up nearly five pounds.  Blah.

I am feeling really frustrated by how restrictive my diet needs to be in order for me to maintain weight-loss, let alone lose weight.  Remembering back to a time when eating nourishing food was its own reward.  Here’s to bringing healthy back.



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Going Against the Grain

Last night I got to go out to dinner and eat Mediterranean food — exactly what I wanted and so yummy! My stomach was already grumbling as we walked to the restaurant, and by the time I looked at the menu, I was wiping drool from the corners of my tabouleh-lusting mouth.

I ordered a salad of some sort, and told myself I would just eat the baba ghanoush (eggplant) and avoid the tabouleh (grains), the humus (beans) and the lentils (beans again). Well, the food arrived, and I was so flippin’ hungry after subsisting primarily on coffee for most of the day, that I didn’t exactly listen to what I had told myself. I mean, I started picking around the tabouleh to eat the baba ghanoush, but then a couple of delicious morsels hichhiked their way into my mouth via the sticky eggplant goodness. And then the baba ghanoush was gone, and I was still hungry, and there was food in front of me, perfectly good food for someone who is not a paleolithic, whack-job, or as my friend called it the other day, “Paleo-rexic.”

I ate it. I ate the food that most sane people would consider to be perfectly healthy, even nourishing. And do you know what? I enjoyed it! And better still, I didn’t have a food hangover when I woke up this morning. I am feeling inspired to do a better job ferreting-out what actually gives me crusty AM eyes and creaky old-lady knees.

Last night was delicious, and I didn’t eat any pita bread or rice or, heaven forbid, dessert. I didn’t even have a ridiculously sweet cocktail to get my sugar fix via alcohol. I didn’t have any alcohol. So yay for that.

I know for me, there is a fine line between eating a consistently healthy diet and turning into a self-sacrificing, miserable Paleo-rexic. Last night, I feel like I hit my stride. (Not to mention that I got to eat dinner at a real restaurant with delightful company and delicious conversation. Maybe I am evolving past paleo.


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